


Only In Gotham

by LananiA3O



Series: Batfam Week 2018 [1]
Category: Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: Batfam Week, Batfam Week 2018, Bruce is not paying Al and Lucius enough, Gen, theme: trapped, tw: graphic violence, tw: threat of sexual violence against one OC, tw: two OCs die, two badass grandpas and a hostage situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LananiA3O/pseuds/LananiA3O
Summary: While on the road, Alfred, Lucius, and Lucius' PA are taken hostage by a group of armed men who thought they were hitting Bruce Wayne's car. Too bad they did not count with Wayne's finest...





	Only In Gotham

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Batfam Week 2018, inspired by numerous discussions about how ridiculously common becoming a victim of a crime must be in Gotham and by the tales of woe of an admin friend :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: One of the crooks in this story is a racist, sexist POS and threatens sexual violence against annother OC.

“So... another one?”

Lucius took a sip from his cappuccino with a quick smile. He appreciated Alfred's offer to drive Lucius and his PA Kelly to their meeting at Sartorico, since Mister Wayne had once again 'failed to remember' his daytime job duties. Sometimes Lucius wondered if his employer ever tired of the forgetfully oblivious ray of sunshine role he played in public. Alfred was stoic as always, of course, but Lucius had known him for more than twenty-five years now. There was just the tiniest twitch of his brow that betrayed a carefully masked eye roll. He could see it in the rear view mirror.

“Another one indeed,” Alfred eventually replied. “His name is Jason. Smart boy and very fierce, but he had quite a... rough and turbulent childhood, I’m afraid. One wonders whether Master Bruce is fully aware of what exactly he has gotten himself into.”

The ‘one’ was Alfred, of course. Lucius sighed. He was not surprised that Mister Wayne had opted to adopt another child, following Richard’s sudden and—from what he could tell—rather ugly escape from the nest. He didn’t have to ask Alfred what worried him the more – the idea that Mister Wayne’s own dismal record at handling childhood trauma would not bode well for Jason’s recovery or the very real possibility that Mister Wayne had taken him in to fill the void left by Richard, even if only subconsciously. Both scenarios were worrisome. Both were certainly on Alfred’s mind.

What Lucius did wonder about was whether he was going to make the boy Robin and whether he would inherit Richard’s suit and gadgets. If not, Lucius would need to be prepared to draft some new designs. Lucius certainly hoped so. He liked inventing new versions of old models, adapting them to the user and upgrading them to perfection.

“Perhaps I should pay a visit to the manor soon then,” Lucius said as he finished his cappuccino, “to deal with all the paperwork.”

“That would be much appr—”

The first sound that cut in was a heavy thud, then the screeching of deflating tires and metal scraping over asphalt. Lucius braced his hands against the back of the front passenger’s seat just in time to watch the grenade break through the glass. One hiss later, pale blue smoke filled the car. It stung in his eyes and burned in his lungs.

Half a minute later, his mind sank into darkness.

***

The first sense to come back was his hearing and something inside him wanted to wince. There were at least three different voices. Angry. Shouting. Dangerous.

“Take a good look, Clarence. Take a GOOD long look! Let’s start with this one, huh? You notice something a little... off, Clarence?”

“Jesus, Mike, I know—”

“No, seriously, look!” The first voice cut in. “This one’s got tits! That’s a girl! Is Bruce Wayne a girl?”

“No, but—”

“Ok, how about this fucker?”

The impact came hard and swift and Lucius groaned in return. Boot to the ribs. Yeah, he remembered that feeling from his childhood years in the rougher parts of town. He had not wanted to go back there.

On the bright side, the kick jolted his eyes awake.

“You notice something a little off about him?”

“Mike—”

“He’s fucking black, Clarence! Is Bruce Wayne fucking black?”

The lights were glaringly blind above him, although Lucius was pretty certain it was probably only one light, and not even that strong. It WAS strong enough to help him make out the two men in ski masks though. The one who was shrinking, almost recoiling, at every sound and the one who was using a loaded gun of all things to point right at Lucius’ face. As if Lucius needed another reason to remember him for later punching after _that_ comment about his PA.

“N-No...” ‘Clarence’ stammered quietly and at least ‘Mike’ aimed the gun elsewhere.

“No. He’s not.” He took a few steps further to the right and Lucius turned his head slowly. There, just two feet away, Alfred sat, all posture and grace despite his hands being literally tied behind his back and having a gag in his mouth, as the gun was pointed at him. “So maybe it’s this dude? Tell me, Clarence: how old is Bruce Wayne?”

“Ok, Mike, I get it—”

“HOW OLD IS BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE, CLARENCE?!”

“Thirty-two!” Clarence all but fell over his own feet. “Jesus, Mike, I know we fucked up—”

“You damn right you fucking did!” Mike’s grip changed to the barrel of the gun quickly before he brought his arm up in one swift motion, sending the grip of the gun colliding hard with Clarence’s jaw. The man howled as his lip split into a mess of blood. “You had one, single, goddamn job! Hit the car and kidnap Bruce Wayne! And who did’ya bring back, huh? Some old guy, a black dude, and a brunette bitch. Now, granted, she’s pretty damn hot and she might be fun for a few rounds before we whack her, but the boss ain’t paid us for fun! He paid us for Bruce Wayne!”

“We might still be able to get to Wayne, though,” a third voice chimed in. The source was another masked man, typing away on a laptop at the back of the room.

Now that he actually took a moment to look around, Lucius realized why the light was so glaring – it really was the only light. There were no windows. Only one heavy iron door and what looked like at least one foot of concrete. _Underground_ , Lucius mused. Someone paid good money for this. The kind of guns and gear these men carried was not cheap. To his right, Alfred seemed to be analyzing the situation with the same clarity. To his left, Kelly sat trembling in fear.

 _Oh, right._ Lucius felt a pang of sympathy in his gut. Poor girl was new to Gotham. This was probably her first kidnapping.

“The black dude?” The man with the laptop continued. “That’s Wayne Enterprises’ CEO. And the old guy is Wayne’s butler. We can use them to get to Wayne.”

“Oh yeah?” Mike scoffed. “What do you wanna do, huh? Call Wayne and be like ‘hey Bruce, we’ve got your old-ass butler and your stupid CEO, be at this spot in twenty to trade yourself in for them or we’ll blow their heads off?’”

“Exactly.” The laptop man grinned. “Have you ever seen any of Wayne’s interviews? That special little snowflake is scared of his own shadow and fucking naïve to boot. I mean, he got scammed out of a quarter million in less than one hour during that stupid promotional thing they had going on in the Amusement Mile last month, by some hag giving him a sob story about her starving baby. How do you think he’s gonna react when we tell him we’ll shoot his butler and his CEO if he doesn’t do as we say?”

Mike holstered his gun and started pacing. Clarence looked back and forth between him and the third man in alternating hope and panic. Then, his eyes fell on Kelly. “So who’s the girl?”

“CEO’s PA.” Laptop man said without looking up from his screen. “Forgot her name.”

The pacing continued for another two minutes. Then, Mike finally turned to Kelly and yanked her up onto her feet by one arm. The gag and rope came off with equal roughness, only to be replaced by a gun to her chin.

“Alright, sweetness.” He dug her phone out of her purse and shoved it into her hand. “You and I are gonna take a walk upstairs and you’re gonna call Wayne, so he can—”

“But I don’t even know what to say—”

The backhand hit her hard and the sound echoed off the walls. “YOU ain’t gonna say shit,” Mike growled at her. “You’re gonna call Wayne, then hand the phone to me so I can—”

“Are you for real?”

Lucius winced. It was as if every shred of fear had suddenly vanished from Kelly’s face and had been replaced with the hatred of an ancient fury instead. Lucius wasn’t very surprised. He always took time to talk to his assistants, to set clear expectations and get a good picture of who he was working with, and the one thing that Kelly had all but begged him not to do, was to make her dial numbers without actually letting her make the call, as if he was too high and mighty to sully his fingers on the keypad of a phone or as if she was too stupid to handle a simple conversation with people other than her mother. It had driven her mad in her last three jobs. It had made her quit the last one in quite spectacular fashion, actually. Something involving a phone, superglue, and two rolls of duct tape.

Lucius had a feeling she was about to quit being a hostage, too.

“Call him yourself, you fucking prick! He’s in the caller shortcuts under W!”

Suddenly, the room was silent as a crypt. The tapping had stopped. Clarence seemed to be frozen on the spot, while Mike went through eight shades of red as the words sank in slowly.

“What. Did you. Just call me?”

“A prick,” Kelly spat back at him. “What are you gonna do about it, huh? Hit me and threaten to kill me? You already fucking did!”

Kelly was right. Mike had already played his hand. Now, it was only a matter of time until he would have to decide whether he should just shoot her now or later.

It was time that Alfred Pennyworth, former special agent in the service of Her Majesty, was not willing to give.

Lucius didn’t know when exactly Alfred had managed to weasel out of the ropes that had bound his wrists, but he wasn’t at all surprised that he had done it. He was up on his feet and on Mike in a second, breaking his wrist as he disarmed him and throwing him to the ground with an ease that most men half Alfred’s age could only dream off. In the two seconds of confusion and shock that it took Clarence and the laptop man to draw their guns, Alfred had already moved, twisting Clarence’s arm and pushing him into position just in time to absorb the shots fired by his partner in crime.

“Shit! Clare—”

Alfred’s bullet hit him straight in the chest, accentuated by a high-pitched yelp from Kelly and a loud bang from the weapon. Alfred watched on, unflinching, as the gun slid from the man’s grasp and cluttered to the floor uselessly. He left a red line on the wall as he fell over and slid to ground.

Just in front of Lucius, Mike groaned slowly as the daze from his impact with the floor wore off. He pushed himself off the ground just high enough to get his face into perfect height. Lucius kicked hard and was pleased to hear a loud crunch, followed by more blood and two broken teeth on the floor. Alfred let Clarence’s body slump to the floor and made sure to tie up Mike’s hand and feet securely before helping Lucius out of his restraints.

“Are you alright, my old friend?”

“Never better,” Lucius replied quickly. As kidnappings went, this had been a very brief and stress-free affair. At least for him. Kelly was still shaking in her ballet flats.

“And you, my dear?” Alfred put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“No!” The answer came at the same speed as the bullets. “I need a drink. And a vacation. And a drink.”

“Don’t we all?” Alfred sighed, then slung Mike’s unconscious body over his shoulder, and led her to the door. “Come now, Miss Parker. Let’s get you some fresh air.”

She didn’t protest as Alfred led her up the stairs. Lucius made sure not to step into any of the fresh puddles of blood as he headed for the laptop and inserted the flash drive he always carried. You never knew when you needed to back up some data. Or hack hostile hardware. Or both. The program worked swiftly, autonomously, and without leaving any trace. Mister Wayne and Miss Gordon had made sure of it.

The download was complete after only two minutes. From what Lucius had been able to see without getting his finger prints all over the keys, it had been Mister Cobblepot who had hired these unfortunate men. Lucius was not surprised. It explained the hardware. And the hatred for Mister Wayne.

When the download was done, Lucius removed the stick and left the room.

The stairs led up to the surface in a zigzagging pattern and out through a hatch covered in dirt and moss to blend in with the surroundings, confirming Lucius’ suspicion that this had been a carefully arranged affair. All around him, the trees stood tall in the fading evening sun. As far as Lucius could tell, they were in the middle of nowhere.

“I don’t know where we are at all,” Kelly stammered into her phone as if on cue. Alfred silently mouthed ‘nine-one-one’ and Lucius nodded. They could handle this quicker if they called Mister Wayne directly, but with an unknowing bystander in the mix, that was not an option. Nine-one-one it was. Lucius dug his own phone out of his pocket and started running the enhanced GPS tracker he had incorporated.

“We are twenty-six miles north of Gotham, three miles west of the highway,” Lucius said as he showed the satellite image to his assistant and waited for her to relay the information. He could tell the moment when the dispatcher had informed her of a squad car on the way by the sigh of relief and the look of joy on her face.

“They’ll be here in fifteen minutes,” Kelly eventually said as she hung up. She looked and sounded two years older than when she had stepped into his office this morning. “Fifteen years.” A short, slightly hysterical laugh escaped her mouth. “Fifteen years I’ve been doing admin work, but I’ve never—” Her face fell. “Sir, I’m sorry, but you look like this is nothing. Both of you. Is getting kidnapped while on the job, like, a normal thing at Wayne Enterprises?”

Lucius suppressed the urge to give a sheepish grin and looked at Alfred instead. His old friend straightened out his lapels and cleared his throat.

“Only in Gotham, Miss.”


End file.
